Boundaries, Burnout, and Finding Balance – with Diana Horvath

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Welcome to the Pet Grooming Business Podcast with me, Bill Betts, where we give practical business advice to help you grow your pet grooming business. This podcast is sponsored by Low Pay, the low rate payment app that gives you more. So without further ado, let's get going.

Right, guys, welcome to the next podcast. Welcome, everyone. I am joined today by Diana, and Diana is a pet salon or pet groomer salon owner, poor in Hand at Bristol, and also an author, having written and started the Awakening Awakened Pet Groomer. That's a lot of words for me, wasn't it? Yeah, I heard, I heard Awkward Pet Groomer as well, a lot and I always find that funny. So, yeah, the Awkward Pet Groomer. The Awkward Pet Groomer. I mean, I, I was actually thinking to change my, my dog ring business to that and just tie the two together.

Awkward enough, but that's fine. Yeah, sorry. So the way you can Pet groomer. Yes. Yeah. So you won Poor in Hand, Bristol, and you also run the Facebook page, the Awakened Pet Groomer. And we're going to talk a little bit about that in a minute. But first of all, you know, welcome and thank you for coming onto the podcast. But let's start off with, let's start off with, like, how it all began. How did you become a pet groomer?

Thank God you asked that about how I wrote the book because that is a different story, how I became a dog groomer. I bought a spaniel, an English cocker, and I just looked at her and decided that you're going to need grooming for the rest of your life. So I actually was in between jobs and my son was just born, so. Well, about six months. He was about six months old when I started the, the course for grooming. And that was back in Hungary. I've done my course in Hungary.

It took me six months and loads of practical hours in a very busy saloon.

However, I never worked in a very busy saloon because we moved back to England after I've done my course and I started do grooming in the UK and never worked anywhere else. So that's the story in short.

It starts off like a lot of stories that I sit here and I talk to a lot of pet groomers about how they got into business. And that is a very familiar story, actually. There's either. Sometimes there's a Covid story behind it, but a lot of the time it is people saying, I bought this dog and realized the dog's needs and thought that'd be interesting to learn myself. And then it kind of took them down this big rabbit hole of. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And yeah, it was all very lucky.

We'll talk about this later. But anyway, let's say luck that I, we. We were looking for jobs and we were back in Hungary at that time and we wanted to come back in the UK anyway. We lived in the UK before Sun was born. Went back, wanted to come back again and I seen an ad for a dog boarding au pair kind of thing back at the days and I literally just got my dog grooming qualification. So it was a perfect place to start.

And where was I? You're just starting your business? Yes.

So yeah, basically that's it. And then we moved and we moved here where we are, we are here for 10 years and it's just lovely to work on my own for myself as I wanted. But it wasn't always like that and that's how the book started because obviously as everyone else I was struggling with myself mainly because I, I was the biggest people pleaser. But again that's another on the part and later on. Yeah. So yeah, tell me a little bit. We interested. You said you went and did your training and qualification in Hungary.

People might be quite interested to find out what it's like, what dog grooming training is like in Hungary. You said this. You were in a very busy salon and you did six months worth of. Oh yeah.

Well that was a good what, 13, 14 years ago. I don't know if things have changed and I can only speak about the train, where I've been, but it wasn't much about the dogs. It was a lot of practical. We've been thrown in right away, mainly bathing and just handling the dogs but there wasn't much consideration to the dogs. Okay. And as soon as I finished. So yeah, it's busy, it's hectic, you just get on with it. Mainly the. It's like a bathroom here. So basically that was five months ahead of six months.

Like you're. You're bar thing and just doing the job that no one else does and then off you go do your. So yeah, it wasn't the best. And what I know and what I have learned is basically from seminars. Well, seminar after seminar and seminar I've attended to. Basically everyone's seminar is. Is a name.

You know, if, if Reese Bisman came, I was there. So.

But yes, so it is different.

Less technical, more hands on. I mean less, less theory technical, more hands on, going for the experience.

But yeah, I'm.

Anyway, as I said, as soon as I finished my course, I said that I Love grooming. I love dogs, but this is not how I'm going to do it. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I'll do something else, but I'm going to do it my way. Yeah, and it worked because I'm still here for first.

It wasn't easy as it isn't for anyone. But I'm glad to say that I'd probably come out on the other side now and I'm, I'm at a much better place and much, much happier with my work and my private life. Nice. Excellent. So when you, when you move, finally you moved to where you are now and you said you've been here for, for 10 years. Did you set up your salon from home or. Yes. Yeah, there's an outbuilding in the garden. And what sort of hours were you doing?

What kind of, how many dogs a day? Reading? It sounds like there's something there that kind of maybe led to. I think, I think I'm quite average to, you know, are there home groomers or groomers who work from home? Because I would say four or five dogs is generally comfortable enough. And I work from nine to four, but I can start at eight as well. But I don't, I don't stretch that. That was a very big rule I had to make for myself because I was like, okay, maybe, you know, 4:30.

Oh yeah, it doesn't matter. Oh man. Okay, then, you know, five o' clock and then it was there you are, day gone. You've done nothing. Nothing. That is called life. You're just working and working and then tired and get a shower and eat half of the fridge and go to bed and start again the heat, sleep, work, repeat, kind of, kind of. And, and it's like with everyone at the beginning because you want to prove you put all the money in it. You, you put your time in it, you put the effort in it.

You would like to create beautiful fluffy dogs and oh my God, another call. Yeah, of course I can fit you in tomorrow or today. Never mind. And you just let your whole life slip away slowly and you don't even realize it. And were you seeing like feedback from your other half and your son, you know, saying like, oh, mom, you're always at work or how were you managing, like school runs and stuff like that? Not son, luckily, because he's the most grown up of us all? Guess we did too because we are both, we are kind of an Italian family, husband and I, both for temperament and looks like son is the normal one in the family.

So he wasn't complaining much. It was husband mainly that.

Yeah, I mean, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but yes, you do need a stronger or a healthier minded someone behind you to tell you that. Why exactly are you working on the weekends? I mean, don't we want to go somewhere and do something like a family? And I was like, ah, you're right, I don't need to work on the weekends. But the struggle to tell this to my customers and disappoint them, that was what I had to overcome. Yeah. And it was hard. This podcast is sponsored by Low Pay.

Low Pay is half the price of Sum up and Zettle. So you keep more of the money that you earn. Rates start at 0.79%. I was, I was talking to a client today, actually this morning, and we were doing some planning and I said to her, you know, what hours do you work? And she said, Tuesday to Saturday, nine till six, seven. I was like, okay. And then what hours do you want to work? And she was like, Tuesday to Friday would be quite nice. I said, but she said, but, you know, I've got loads of customers that need us need to come to me on a Saturday.

And I was like, they need to come to you on a Saturday. Do you know who's, who's running the business here? You know, is it your choice or is it their choice? I actually have a very relevant story. I'd done that. I was working on Saturdays because obviously you can't just serve the elderly and the housewives. There are people in between who work Monday to Friday usually.

But then came point when I said, okay, let's see, I sent out all my Saturday dogs that I'm no longer able to do Saturday. I don't remember the exact number, but it was like 15, 16 dogs. One out of, let's say 15 said, oh, I'm so sorry, I have to find another groomer who does it today. All the rest. So that's 99% managed to solve it on another day with a relative, a friend, a husband or whatever? Yeah, basically that was the most convenient option for them.

But they could, they could solve it on any other work day as well. So again, yeah. How many years did you sort of fret and worry and think, oh, I can't change Saturdays. And I, I can't do this? And it's so easy once you step over that threshold that you're no longer afraid to disappoint people because you are going to disappoint people. You can't avoid it. God, please everyone. You cannot be perfect for everyone. And sooner you accept that, that the sooner you're able to say that, hey, I'm not doing this.

This is my boundary. Just because. Or if you want to be more polite, because I have a family and I would like to spend time with them. And if normal, if, I mean normal people, like decent people, obviously understands it. Understands it and they don't make an issue of it. The, the person who made the issue of that was yourself, because you didn't want to offend them. Well, it comes back into something you said earlier about being a real people pleaser, like a really strong people pleaser.

I think, you know, when we're in the service industry, you know, I serve clients and you serve clients and customers as well, and, and dogs. You know, we have that element of people pleasing about us, don't we? But it's always so detrimental of our own self, our own health. You know, we. We put everyone before us, before ourselves, don't we?

Definitely. But there is fine line.

I mean, I struggled with that because when I put my foot down first, I went all over, how dare you ask? I mean, what do you know? I finish up for, why do you want to come at 6?

And then I was like, peyton, no, you just communicate your boundaries clearly. And if they don't take it well, that's their problem. If I have to get to a level and I'm all over the place in my head, like all the time, the, the, the fact that I've written a book, I couldn't fathom it. I, I, like, I just literally put my thoughts down on paper coherently, and I managed to say when I wanted to say day.

And this is the same basically with clients. So you just, you start somewhere, you say it, and then she has a reaction, and then you go from there. But it's not, it's not on you. At least you said it. I think sometimes, you know, there's a few things that just aren't really, when we're setting up a business. There's probably a few things like this that we don't really consider. You know, when we set up a business, there's normally a pressure to earn money and there's a pressure to get customers in because you want to be popular, you want to be liked, you want people to be using your services.

But obviously the money is a big driver. But what a lot of people do, I suppose, is they don't actually start to sit down and put those barriers in place. You know, what hours do I Want to work? Well, I'll just work all the hours I can because I want customers or who do I want to attract in my business? Who do I want to work with? You know, we don't put much effort into this. We, we do our Facebook page and our website and, you know, get our qualifications.

Yeah. And service whoever comes through the door. Yeah. We don't, we don't look into like who we actually want to work with, what, when do we want to work, how much money to earn. And it is quite normal at the beginning, starting out, you have no idea. You just know, got your qualification, open your doors and come. And you come. Yeah. And. And then you start to notice that, oh, I'm just doing clip off like, oh, that dog has fleas again. Like you get all the customers that you dread and then you don't notice them and you just think that this is dog grooming and this is all about.

And I want to quit because this is.

But then comes when you know what the problem is but you can't change it because you don't have the tools because you, you are still a people pleaser. You realize that you're a people pleaser, but you don't know why you're a people pleaser and you don't solve it. So basically, yeah, that's, that's the whole book is about just to what you said, getting to know yourself, go deep down, come back with your needs, your desires, your boundaries, the way you want to work, the way you want to live and, and just do it because no one else is going to do it for you, basically.

So it's like, did you end up sort of like you're saying, like, I always sort of call it ripping the plaster off. Did you do it like softly, softly, gently, gently, or did you just go for it and say, right, on this date, I'm no longer doing Saturdays or I'm no longer doing. Going to be accommodating this. I was ripping the plaster off, but in phases.

I spoke to first, then ripped it off. Well, the first one I think was not working on weekends. That was a big one. And then I think it was setting my hours, like proper hours and sticking to them. Not just say that I finished at 4, but like I literally finish at 4. The scissors fell out on my hands. And then I stopped taking dogs with fleas because I can't stand them. They freak me out. I have no issue with ticks. I'm doing glands, I'm plucking ears if I need to.

But fleas Freak me out. So I've stopped doing them. That was a step when I thought that oh, I'm going to lose a lot of customers. Quite a lot of my customers at that time had fleas now and then. And even my regular sometimes come in with fleas because they, whatever pick them up and I just check them or before I bath them obviously I always don't always check them. I forget. But when I realize even if they are in the bath and vac, I just dry them and just know that if I would run or not blow all the fleas around.

So yeah, I stopped doing fleas and then I. Then that was a big ripping plaster off moment which is in the book as well. Which is basically the big event in your life that changes you the most. That was when my mother died. That's when I. Then that was all in. I was, I was, I was completely out of balance in every way. And I was grieving and I was like nothing matters anymore. So I just sat down with, with my diary and a pen and I crossed every dog out that I wasn't happy with.

And there was no hate in it. It's just not happy with could only mean that they were too big for my back. Yeah. Or owners who were always late or dogs whom I was struggling for years to, to. To. To make an improvement on their behavior. But I couldn't. So everything that caused me trouble or stress, I crossed out. I think it was a good 120 dogs I crossed out of Babel. And that was an absolutely crazy decision because I wasn't thinking whether I will have enough dogs to survive in the coming months until I refill what has been kicked out.

But it all worked out. I did. I survived. Actually. I haven't even felt it because they got replaced at small and medium. It really adorable dogs and owners pretty fast. I haven't even felt it. But it was a really good move. I can, I can actually sleep since then because my back is fine. Because they're not lifting. I don't have space for a ramp. Nothing against big dogs. I absolutely adore them. They're so much easier than the ones.

You got. I just couldn't lift them in the bath anymore. And you know, this is really what you. I don't know whether you did it consciously, but you're like we were saying, you're identifying what you don't like about certain customers. You know, size, personality, behavior and getting and removing them from your business. But in the meantime, in the opposite effect, you're kind of identifying what you do like about customers and who you do want to work with, you just sort of sit there and then I filled it with nice, smaller, fluffy, you know, well behaved pets that want to work with.

And you wake up in the morning. Exactly. Going to work. Yeah, yeah. And enjoy it. Yes, exactly, exactly. So it can be done like this as well, I mean, depending obviously what your goals are. Because if your dream is to go to Bali twice a year, this is probably not the route for you. But I want an easy, stress free, enjoyable work and life.

These are my goals. And surely this, this has got to be the whole point of running your own business, isn't it? Is to, to design a business and design a life that you want to, to sort of live by. Yep. Otherwise. And that's what I'm. And that's the reason why this book is here. Because I am admittedly spending more time on socials than I should. And I see in these Facebook groups that they are grooms are complaining that this is not good. That is not good.

You know, they struggling with dogs, they struggling with matting.

And I was just sitting there like there is a solution. And I kept repeating myself in like 5, 10 sentences because that wouldn't solve the issue. So I just sat down, made it into whatever, 170 whatever pages and I can just sounds silly, but I can just copy and paste my reply, which sounds very much like advertising. But the intention with the book was never to make business or money or put myself out there or anything. In fact, I would rather stay in the background. That's why I don't do TikTok videos and Instagram check ins or whatever.

I like to keep myself to myself. So I write unfortunately quite long posts as well. So that again doesn't serve putting it out more because it's not short and it's not digestible. But probably I'm not even trying to reach the short and digestible type of people because they wouldn't understand what I'm trying to tell them. Yeah. What I always sort of say is like if I can do something and just help one person, then that's kind of enough. And I've heard that already. And it feels so good.

It just feels so good. That was the whole point of the book. I think I even put it in the book at the end somewhere. That if I just have one groomer to reconsider and restructure her whole thinking about her work and herself in it or himself in it, then it was worth it because it was, it was joy. It Was obviously a fun thing to do. Like, I had to do it. I've never done anything like this before, but I just, I just had to do it.

And when it was done, I was like, there you are. That's your answer. When I see that, oh, I'm burning out and there, just breathe it and maybe change this and that and then you'll be fine. There's a lot of, there's a lot of self reflection, isn't there? And it's, it's sometimes quite hard. And there might be some people that sort of bulk at this. But when people are complaining or they're, they're distressed because, you know, they're being pushed from pillar to post by their clients or their clients are messaging late at night or dogs are turning up matted and stuff, obviously clients do need to take responsibility, but quite often because our boundaries aren't set, because we're not clear on the customers that we want to take, because we don't have set working hours ourselves, because we don't, you know, we reply outside of those hours to text messages and stuff, we kind of invite a lot of this behavior into our lives that way.

And that's hard, a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Well, definitely. But I mean, as long as you are replying, you are the problem. I mean, if you set your working hours, then you stick to them.

There's no solution. If you know something that is wrong and you're still doing it, but if you do something against it, then you're fine. So basically, yes, as you said, boundaries, set your working hours, set your admin hours. If the two clashing, I'm actually thinking about it. But it's more of an issue to structure my day than to do anything with my clients. So I might add just one hour of my day from four to five, just to sort the messages and I'll try to figure out anyway.

So, yeah, set your working hours, set your admin hours.

You know, tst. I mean, terms and conditions. Yeah, that is doing my head in a lot of times because we think we have our terms and conditions in our heads or on a website, but the owners, the clients don't know about it. I don't read them. Like you literally have to put them, Put it in the face. Like, look, please, here's, here's a form, click on it, ticket that you acknowledged it. Even if she did or didn't, I don't care, it's been ticked and that's that.

And then if she knows, shows you don't have to Sweat about sending hail 50 or 100 or whatever you have because it was in the terms and conditions you ticked it. It's my policy.

I always say this, you know, do people actually read T's and C's And I did a poll, I can't remember if I did it with my clients or did it in the big group. But you know, you know, there's a lot of people that just tick sign T's and C's without reading them. So something. Yeah, but the goal is not for them to read it, it's for you that, you know, you told them. So basically enforcing your own boundaries is easier because it was there, they were aware of it.

Whether or not it's their problem, that's it. And you know, we always, we as a business, we always ask for, if there's a no show, we always ask for full payment, you know, and if they don't pay, they then get another appointment until they've paid for that one. So like you said, it's one thing having your T's and C's but it's another thing if you don't enforce them, then they are worth the paper they're written on. I suppose. But we, as part of our onboarding process, we'll sit in the reception with the person and go through season C's and stuff with them so that they are understanding what we require from them.

Just to help. Help with that. Well, I was going to say about your, your hours and this is what we found as a business a few years ago is we had set hours, so we were 9 till 5:30, but we're still overrunning like 6, 6:30. And obviously our groomers were getting a bit unhappy with that because they were having to work a longer hours. So one thing having the set hours, 9 to 5:30. But the practical things, you actually have to manage your diary as well. Like you said, your diary hours.

And we had to, we made a simple adjustment actually, which was pick up Inst. We used to say pick up. The Last dog was 5:30, but we changed that and said pick up or the last dog was five back and gave us half an hour to clean down, write notes and stuff. That simple, simple change just made the massive difference. Yeah, clever. How clever? And this, it's ongoing changes, isn't it, in your business, like reviewing what's working, what's not working, do the same thing, we get the same results kind of stuff.

Exactly.

So tell us about the book. Tell us like you told us what inspired you to write the book, what kind of topics. Does the book cover?

If I just check it.

How long did it take you to write? It was almost a year.

Yeah, it was almost a year, but 10 months or something like that.

But again it was, this was a trial and error because I just, first of all, I just grabbed the pen and a diary and I started to jog down ideas like I want to include this, I want to include that, I want to. Why is she always asking? I have to answer that as well. And then even before that I was listening, I was into my. I am still into my audiobook phase and I was listening to audiobooks like non stop during work. Well, non stop means that whichever dog allowed me to listen to audiobooks, who is a frequent regular, but I mostly have those and I think I was listening to like 50 something audiobooks in a year.

And the, the last chunk of it was all about self awareness and self improvement.

And yeah, after a while the idea was born. I started to listen to books that I wanted to listen to, to include it in my book and just to get some resources and ideas.

So yeah, I'm talking about empathy which, which starts quite boring, I have to agree. But it is necessary to understand, to understand how deeply you have to be involved in your clients lives because I think we tend to get involved in our clients lives a bit more than we should, especially as women. I mean we don't need to know that, you know, we don't, we don't need to be included in their lives. We don't need to. I mean obviously yes you are friendly and you're smiling but you know, the gossip bit doesn't need to be included because then you are friends and then she might ask for privileges that you're not likely to give because you are running your business and she might take your overly friendliness for something that isn't.

So professional boundaries. Building professional boundaries, which is easy for you, but it's not that easy for us. I mean women are built different. And yes, as I said, there is a difference. I think it is an important part to understand that us women have the power to hold the exact boundaries as men do. But again, so second boundaries. What are we the artists and the art of saying no. Yeah, it is, it is quite an interesting chapter because once we realize why we can't say no to that client, which surely there are a few personality types kind of things, I kind of try to merge and translate everything into dog grooming.

So once we figure out why we can't say no because you're a people Pleaser.

Because you're afraid to disappoint someone because that's the only safe thing if no one disagrees with you. Because. Million things that. Oh, my God. The need for approval that. Oh, my God. I have to. I have to give her an appointment because, you know, she wants me. Or ego, even Ego. Pleading all she wants me. I have to fit her in. Because. Yeah, because why not? And once we understand why we can't say no.

You only have to let yourself say it. And again, until you say it, you. You won't know how easy it is. You'll get used to it. Like, it's not going to work in effort anymore. You set your boundaries and you stick to them and you say no. Yeah, I've got clients that love saying no. Now, you know, we've been through that process of the fear, the worry, the people pleasing. You know, we get them through that, through that breakthrough moment. And so you're basically doing everything in here in your business.

Yeah, like, there's. There's so much mindset. There's so much mindset work done in personal development and like the, the stuff that you're describing like that people pleasing, the. The want to be. Like the. We. We sort of look at, you know, where does this all come from? And some of it sounds like it comes from sort of. There's childhood stuff going on in there, isn't there? Relationships, Adult relationships. Oh, there's so much around us that kind of influences us. What was your first. What was the. Is it memorable when you first said turn around to a client and said, no, I'm not doing your dog or I'm not.

I can't offer your appointment or I'm not going to offer your appointment after this. 1. Can you remember that.

Firm nose?

Not well. I. Well, two. I've got two bites and I've told both of them that I wouldn't want to do this again, but no, nothing.

No, no, nothing. One side, like, I. I haven't really fired a client.

Yeah, but you've defined who you don't want, so that's. That's kind of now, isn't it? Well, of course I define who I don't want because I was doing those for long, long years. And, And I kind of get when people say that, but they need to be, you know, service this band and poor dogs. And I absolutely get it and I understand it and I feel kind of selfish sometimes as well that, oh, I only do those dogs that I like to do, which is true.

But again, what about those Dogs whom I don't like to do, the matted ones, the dogs with fleas, the neglected ones.

But again, it comes down to who finds what meaning in their job. My meaning is what I do. Someone out there might absolutely love doing these neglecting dogs because you know that that's what makes her heart sing. And it's completely plausible. Because someone loves student rescues because it fills her heart, it gives her enough energy to keep going because that's what makes her happy. But again, saying that this does not makes me happy is not going to make me a bad person. It just means that I have my preferences.

On the other hand, I'm a super nice person. I just don't like to be forced to do things that I don't enjoy. That's it. If I can choose. Yeah. And this is the point, isn't it? This is what I love about business is. And some people might not get this yet, but business is there. You create a business so you have that choice. And I always say, like, it's your business, it's your rules. So you can't get on with 100% of people and you don't want 100% of those people in your business.

So you've got to go out there and find the people that you love and find the people that you want to work with. And if someone doesn't like your rules, well, then that's a sign that you're not going to get on with them. Yeah, exactly. I mean, Betty, Betty Pato, she, she's the one who proofread and edited and I didn't even know what she's done with the book, but she basically made it possible for me to publish it. And she just came out of the blue again, um, based.

Anyway, sorry, not going sideways. But Betty, yes, she basically, she wrote two books as well. She lives in Texas. Uh, I don't know her personally, only messenger. However, I will one day because we got really good friends during the process. Hopefully I will. And she basically turned charges 200 pounds per hour for her services. She's doing doodles only because she wanted to. You can do anything with your business. That's the thing. I mean, pet grooming is huge. You can personalize it any way that suits you. I just talked to a lady the other day online and she said she's not bathing.

She's a dog groomer for 15 years and she's not bathing dogs, she's grooming them without bath. Is. I mean, I can't phantom how, but it obviously works for her. So Whatever you figure out, just go for it. Try it. Especially if you're burnt out and your business is going down the drains and you have nothing to lose, then just try doing it your way. What can you lose?

Yeah, and what I was going to say about your point earlier about, you know, you might not want to take on the matted dogs or the rescue dogs. It's not, you know, you've got the clients that you want to serve and the clients that love you and your business. If we don't look after ourselves, well, then who's there to service them? Because if you, like you said, if you burn out or you just say, enough is enough, I'm not doing this anymore, and then you close, they're going to have to go elsewhere.

So it's, it's the age old, you know, saying, like when you're on a plane, they say put your own mask on first. Before you help everyone else, you got to help yourself. You are the business owner. You know, it's down to you, to, you should be in business for as long as you want to be in business and you're taking that risk in return of profit, like definition of an entrepreneur. So you've got to make sure that you're enjoying it. You've got to make sure that a business is working for you.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And it's not selfishness. Again, that is something that I hear often.

It's not selfishness because if someone says that hasn't known me when I was burnt out to the max, I was, I came in, made myself the 15th coffee, rumbled something to husband, grumbled something to son, went for a shower. Then I had a fight with husband, verbal. Then I had a fight with son. I had no energy for anything, let alone myself. Just basic things like unload the dish for sure or anything. So I was unbearable. And I only realized how bad it was once I was out on the other side.

How did you get yourself through that period? Did someone stop you and say, hold on, I think something's going wrong, or was it one of the books that you were reading? I remember a book I was reading by Jason Fox. I can't remember the title of it, but he was just describing all these symptoms and I was like, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom. You know, well, everything for, for me, I don't know how many burnouts I had or how many starting burnouts I had, I managed to somehow contain.

And I remember that was the time when I always figured something out with the grooming. I started teeth cleaning. That occupied my mind and then I started coloring, creative grooming. And then I was into Asian fusion. I tried compet. And obviously you try everything out to find it's a distraction, extra little thing, the meaning in the job. Or it's a distraction. You're distracting yourself from the true. From your true feelings. Exactly. And. And nothing really worked. Not. Not even holidays. And I think it was my. It was my husband.

Husband said just to do this job completely if you can't do it normally. I was stressing. Yeah. And obviously when I said everything came, I meant mental, emotional and physical. I developed hyperthyroidism. Yep. And I talk about in the book, which is basically, you're doing everything 200 miles per hour, you talk fast, you live fast, and you never stop. So, yeah, I was, as I said, I was painting the kitchen wall at 2am Completely normal.

My heart rate was 110 when I was sitting down. And that all came because of a crazy mad Christmas rush. Obviously Christmas is always crazy. Everyone wants to have a nice dog under the tree. You have more regulars than you can fit in. I wanted to fit in everyone because I have to please of wrong be good enough. Exactly. And I fixed everyone in. I was running around like a headless chicken. And in January, they figured out that I have overactive thyroids, which is, funnily enough, basically what I asked my.

My body to do.

When I was hyperactively running around, my body picked up and oh, that's what you want. Okay, I give you some boost. Let's. Let's boost the thyroids and then you can do what you want to do.

But that obviously had to be sorted because my heart wasn't taking it. But yeah, so that was the physical, emotional. It was all bigger steps in a shorter period of time.

And then Covid, funnily enough brought the enlightenment that basically I don't need to do all of this. I can, I can do it differently. I don't have to run around and just please everyone wherever I go. I mean, what if they don't like me? So what? I honestly don't care. I mean, of course I would like to make a good impression. I don't go around spitting people and tell them to F off. I am generally a nice person, but if that's not nice enough for you, that's your problem.

And it doesn't affect me one bit. And this is how I live and I'm perfectly happy with that. So again, it's mindset. It's always interesting, isn't it? Because there's fear that you know if we, if we do this, we might turn people away or might turn customers off, you know, and you, you've obviously removed customers from your diary. But when, when we look at groomers like this that are well boundaried, you know, highly priced, there's some of the busiest groomers sort of going, you know, with lots of inquiries and you know, a lot of my clients are sort of like, you know, we're very busy.

We're very busy and you know, they're charging really good prices now.

It doesn't feel like it should go together, does it? You know, high prices, busy diary. It doesn't feel like it doesn't make sense, but it does make sense. This is, this is, you know, how you, how you stack your business. This is how you make your business work well for you. Yep, exactly. Well, business wise, I'm not that right. I, I really should go to one of your courses because I fixed my mindset, but I haven't fixed my money mindset yet. So I think I could earn more.

But that's, that's, that's, that's for another day when I finish the two ongoing courses. I still haven't. When you finish on my to do list. It's coming. I'm gonna get my ass.

Yeah. That's interesting, isn't it? Like our mindset and then our money mindset can be completely different. Completely different. Because.

Yeah, let's not go there. But I'm going to tell you one thing I'm pretty sure of left.

So we got to know in your book, what else, what other topics does it cover?

Well, it's basically the. Where were we? The art of saying no.

How to assertively say no without you know, shying away from. Just say if, if you are true to yourself and honest, then all you have to do is just to say it. Just get over. Get over it.

Yeah. So where were the customers? Yeah, customer types. That is basically a fun chapter based on personality types. Again translated to dog grooming.

What I see, and I think it's pretty accurate. It's just a fun chapter but there is truth in it and it's worth to know the main customer types like the title of customer and the groomer helper. There is quite a few. And then the red flags. The red flags. Biggest listings.

Yeah, the biggest one for us is the husband and wife combo. You can see it in your eyes. You're like, yeah, the husband and wife combo. And we're still yet to really combat it. You know, one drops off normally the husband doesn't Give a monkeys as to what we do with it. Just do the same. Well, you're professional. Well, you're the dog groomer. You tell me what you're supposed to do. And you're like, okay, read the notes, do the same. Wife picks up, oh, my God, what have you done?

You know? Yeah, yeah, that, that there is an advice for that as well. Ignore husbands. Yeah. Phone the wife, listen to the wife. Always listen to the wife. Husbands don't know. And even if they wanted something, it's gonna be fine. It works. That's fine. So just follow the wife. We had one. We had an example, actually, because we've got. We've actually got cameras in our reception area now which record video and audio. And one of our staff members, actually, we recorded her standing there talking to her husband, going through all the detail with the dog, you know, and the husband.

You won't see this on the podcast, but the husband was sitting there, standing there, going, huh, huh. By looking around, looking at the. The display shelf, looking at the posters. Oh, yeah, okay, that's fine. Sort of thing. Unfortunately, Morgan didn't pick, but. But he wasn't paying any attention and had agreed to have the summer haircut, not the autumn haircut that the. The other half wanted. And oh, my God, they go crazy. And then, you know, as a business, you don't have to step between a husband and wife going, well, he said, you know, would you like to hear the tapes?

Would you like to see us explain your husband signed this off. Going to shout him not at us. So difficult. No, no. Double check with wife. Always double check with wife.

It's these little things that I love it when I get brand new groomers that are just opening their business. It's these little things that I love to explain to them because again, new groomers sort of fall for this trap all the time. It's like, watch out for the husband and wife tag team. You know, watch out for this red flag. Look out for that red flag. And they're like, oh, my God, I didn't even think about this. Or the best is when they start to figure out the style, what they want when they arrive and they don't agree and they just stand there for 15 minutes agreeing, what kind of haircut should the dog have?

Just in the middle, wishing it would all end. No, they still argue. Yeah, yeah, Customer types, you know, And I hear this quite a bit where people say, well, I want to work with animals. And you're like, yeah, I get it. I really get it. But unfortunately, they Just cannot drive themselves to your salon. You got to deal with the human. Yeah, they come with their owners. I know, that's why. That's another thing. I do love my customers, obviously. But that's why Covid was awesome, because we just threw the dog in and they were off.

And I could just do my thing without talking to anyone and then pass. The dog back through the crack in the door going, there you go. Thank you very much. And obviously it wasn't. But, yeah, that bit was good. And then burnout.

Yeah, that's a big topic where it all started, which is, as we probably know, or we should probably know by now, that it is an official medical diagnosis since 2019.

So it's not just like, oh, I'm having a burnout. If you are having a burnout, you need to do something about it, because it's not going to get better on its own.

I think that's really important that it's been medically recognized, because I wonder if people sort of used to go to their doctors and say, look, I'm just not feeling right. I don't, you know, this, that, and the other. And I wonder if, like, GPS kind of dismissed it a bit or maybe didn't take it as seriously as it was, but now it's medically recognized. I don't think a lot of people go to the GP that I'm having a burnout because it's about their job. So I think they pretty well know that the GP is not going to do anything about it.

Take some time off. Exactly. Unless they don't realize that it is burnout that they're having. Which is also an important thing to know, actually, because you have. You can have physical symptoms and no idea that it is because you're burning yourself thin.

And physical symptoms are coming sooner or later because your mind is in overdrive or in constant stress, and you can't deal with it if you can't put it down, you can't release it, you can't let it go. It's gonna just build, build, build, build, and you just.

You just nap in the brain. Yeah, the brain's really interesting, isn't it? And I recorded a podcast last week with a talking about mental health, first aid, and that all ties in with this as well. But the body's really interesting in the fact that if you don't listen to it, if you don't listen to your sign or not aware of your signs and symptoms and listen to it, the body will physically shut down, won't it? Not just Shut down, you'll produce symptoms, you are going to get ill.

The body will stop you in your head, if that's the thing. I mean, we always laughed. Husband is having an ongoing issue with his eyes and I don't even know what it is. But anyway, doctors keep asking how stressful his life is and he keeps telling them that my life is not stressful. And I was always wondering why stress? Come on. I mean everyone is stressed, stressful. And when I was writing the book, I started research. I mean stress is a really big factor because it affects your mental state and if, and if any your, your mind affects your body.

That's why breathing helps. It does help their love. It does help. I literally took a really deep breath just as you did. Because when we talk about stress and stuff like that, it takes me back to the, to the training and the workshops that I've done around stress. And it's always like box breathing and stuff like that to start releasing all the stress. If you told me five years ago that you just keep breathing and you're stressed and your work worries gonna be fine, I would have laughed very, very loud.

But it does work. It's amazing because you basically trick your body that it's all fine and you calm your mind with, with breathing. It's just instant relief and it's always, it's right. I suppose it's a little bit of understanding physiology, like understanding how it works and what the reactions are going on in your brain and your mandala and you know, vagus nerve and all that sort of stuff. And it's like, Yep.

I say this to.

I actually don't exactly remember what kind of. Well, it definitely, I think it activates your parasympathetic nervous system that basically sends some. I don't know, to be fair, I would need to check it. But it does calm down, calms you down. Once you take two, three deep breaths because your body takes it, that the threat is gone, the stress is gone. That's it. Rewire your brain with it. So yeah, and I say like when I encourage clients to speak to people on the phone and they're quite fearful speaking to the phone.

And I was like, just breathe. Yeah, yeah. If they ask a question on the phone, just breathe gives you thinking time. It oxygenates your brain. It allows the, like the, the nastiness in your brain to be taken over by oxygen. That's a non technical term. But you know, you know, and even. Better if you can concentrate on your breath like nothing else, just on your breath like and Then let it out. It's just so soothing. I've made my whole family stand on a field all day. I made them to do some two, three rounds of box breathing and they said it worked.

Sorry. Yeah. I mean, I'm not pushing it because they don't necessarily share my crazy, but they do, they do use it when they do need to and when I tell them to. Yeah. Yeah. So it is useful. It's self awareness, isn't it? It's. I suppose it's becoming aware of signs and symptoms. So maybe a good one is to. To read the book, to become aware of the signs and symptoms. Self analysis, self awareness. You know, when these things start to build up. And then obviously you. You give help when you find no joy in your job anymore.

And I don't think us dog groomers have a job that we start and not enjoy it. I think we all enjoy it at the beginning. I mean, it's wonderful. You are with dogs. You can be creative. You try new tools. I mean, scissors are beautiful anyway, and you just kind of love it. And when that love and passion and that meaning just dies and you loathe your job and you hate the dogs and you hate the people you hate that your body is giving up on you, that's when you are having a burnout.

And it's not a place of no return. You can absolutely build back up from it and learn from it. So just a bit more self awareness, knowing your needs to be able to set your boundaries, stick to your boundaries and we'll be fine. Basically, it's quite simple. So obviously the start of the journey is to go and read the book. Yes. What's the book called again? The Awakened Pet Groomer. And that's what goes through your story and then goes through the different chapters? Yes. We actually have a closed group as well if anyone ever wants to talk a bit more private.

It's. It's private, but you can request to join anytime, which is called the Awakened Pet Groomer Group.

Excellent. Where can I get a book? Is that Amazon? The usual question. It's on Amazon in paperback and ebook as well and on Google Play in ebook as well and in an audio version. It is AI narrated, but a pretty decent one, I think. It's. I've listened to it and it's not bad. I will listen to it. She do something already. Do you think you'll do a voiceover for it at some point? Definitely not. As you probably realized, I have an accent and I rather write than talk.

But I enjoyed. I enjoyed this hour with you and. What'S on the horizon. Is there any other books? Has this inspired you or what the members of your group talk about? Has that inspired another book in you?

There is something I'm thinking about but I haven't figured out how to which hasn't stopped me before.

But I was thinking about a tarot card deck kind of style motivational quote thing. So it's like a card deck but with motivational quotes from the book.

Just kind of pull one and stick to that per day kind of thing. But that will work out if like. Daily affirmations, that kind of thing. Like daily affirmations. And I was thinking to do about 910 customer personality cards as well as like a golden ticket kind of thing. But again I was just thinking about it so I don't know whether it's going to happen or not. But yes, something is on my mind always. And you say you share, you've shared quotes and you've shared like pages of your book with your, with your customers.

How have they reacted to that? Do they. Do you feel they now have a better understanding of. Of you and your business or do they sort of like them? Do they ever. I don't concentrate on my business in particular but grooming as a whole and the way groomers are treated and the way customers are are facing to doggering. So I've just written a post about accidents basically and how bad it feels for us and I've shared it obviously in the books page and I've shared it on my page as well because not because I have an accident recently however most I'm pretty sure going to think that it's just purely to bring awareness that if accidents happen it's not because groomers are lazy or are not listening because they are working on the live anymore.

That moves all the time and I was just trying to make groomers feel better about it. Obviously it was inspired by another groomer on another post that she feels how terrible she feels. And yeah, I'm just the. The whole thing is about not putting yourself down and just trying to.

Trying to make it easier for others. Not necessarily. They don't have to do it as hard as I did. They can do it easier from the beginning. Read the book, sort your mindset, go one of your courses. Sort your business mindset, you're good to go. Yeah, that's how really I honestly think that's how it should work.

It's interesting, isn't it? Well, yeah, obviously I only work in the pet grooming space but obviously I've got mentors that work with lots of other businesses and networking and reading business books and reading books around your industry. That's like the norm. But I sometimes feel that we do our dog grooming course. We open our business, we serve our customers. Yeah, but no one tells you how to sort your mindset. It's kind of like. Yeah, not done. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So let's hope this will help some.

Just a bit. A bit more self aware and just to establish their work boundaries. Yeah. And just, you know, be happier, more content, a bit more awakened.

That's a brilliant, brilliant piece to leave it on. So the Awakened Pet Groomer is the book and the Facebook group is.

What? The closed group? Yeah, the closed group. Yes. That's the Awakened Pet Roomer Group Facebook group as well. Brilliant. Well, thank you very much for joining us. It's great to thank you for having me. Learn more. And are you at Groomfest or any of the Pep Expo, anything like that? I was thinking about Groomfest.

Let's see. Well, come and say hello if you do. Thank you. Love you. Take care. All right. Thank you. I hope you have enjoyed this podcast. Please make sure you give us a like or a review to help people find it. The podcast is sponsored by Low Pay. Head over to www.lopay.com to find out more about their payment solution.