Unmasking Imposter Syndrome: Bill's Transformative Journey with Dr. Tara Halliday

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Welcome to the Pet Grooming Business podcast with me, Bill Betts, where we give practical business advice to help you grow your pet grooming business. This podcast is sponsored by Low Pay, the low rate payment app that gives you more. So without further ado, let's get going.

Welcome, everyone. Welcome to this next episode on podcast and welcome to you. If you are joining us live, today is going to be a little bit different from the normal format because I'm actually going to be interviewed. But first of all, let's, let's introduce our guest, Tara Halliday. How are you? Hello. I'm very well, thanks, Bill. I'm delighted to be here and I'm very excited to be talking about your journey, getting out of imposter syndrome. Yes, this is, this is going to be an interesting journey and it's been a fantastic eye opening journey for me.

But first of all, before we go into you interviewing me turning the tables, maybe you can just go through again with people that may not have heard your podcast with us or read much about imposter syndrome and just help them to understand a little bit about what imposter syndrome is. Yeah. So imposter syndrome is the secret feeling of being a fraud when you're not a fraud, and the fear of being found out. And it shows up in 70% of high achievers. And if you own your own business, you're a high achiever because that is actually a big step.

And there are several myths about imposter syndrome that it's a women's issue and it's absolutely not. And another one is that it's a beginner's issue, that you just need to get the next level. A certain amount of income, a certain amount of clients, or a certain status in a company and it'll go away. And the problem with imposter syndrome is it doesn't go away. It's this feeling like it's the knowledge on one hand that you know that you're capable and you can do your job, you're competent, and on the other hand, you're not quite feeling it.

And I'm delighted to be here with you, Bill, doing this talk because so Bill's been taken my inner success program which eliminates imposter syndrome. It's a very structured program and he's just over three quarters of the way through it now. But we thought, I thought we'd have this discussion so other people can be with him on this journey. And it's a very personal thing. And so you're going to hear exactly what Bill's experiences are, and I hope you give him lots of love and support because he's willing to do this and share this very personal experience because he wants to help other people and he wants other people to not struggle the way that he has struggled in the past.

Um, so, yeah, yeah. And I think primarily, you know, the, the we'll probably go into this, but one of the main reasons is, was to actually help myself and be quite selfish in a way and just say, I've had enough. I, I maybe just quickly perhaps highlight some of the symptoms, if that's the right word, of imposter syndrome, like how people are feeling. You might, there might be people listening, going, check, check, check. Yeah, definitely, yeah. Because Bill's going to describe his own experiences. Everyone's got their own unique profile, if you like.

So there's three types of imposter syndrome symptoms. One's imposter syndrome thoughts. Feeling like you don't belong, you're not quite good enough, you might be self critical, feel like you just got lucky and that's where you think people are going to find you out. Then there's a physiological stress response. So your body gets triggered into fight or flight or freeze, which is danger mode, where you want to, you know, defend yourself or run away. It leads to poor sleep, it creates tension, it creates anxiety and it creates overwhelm.

So it's a very stressful time for your mind and your body and that leads you to try and cope by doing some different typical imposter syndrome behaviors, all to try and cope with the stress. And these are like perfectionism, procrastination over preparing, hiding your opinion, not speaking up enough, avoiding opportunities, always feeling like if you just got one more qualification, one more extra thing, then you'd feel better comparing yourself to others and feeling like they're all doing so great and you're really not. And that leads to people judging themselves, which drives it around.

So you've got this, the three sets of symptoms that just drive around in the circle and you know, a lot of people try to solve the problem of the symptoms, but, you know, it actually needs the root cause sorting out. Yeah. And we'll go into further in my journey, but you were actually one of the first people that I wanted to interview for my podcast and you were the very first episode. And when you look at our stats, you are, you know, you're fighting for leadership within that, within that podcast league.

But after I found out about imposter syndrome, I wanted to start spreading the word. I thought there must be so many people, especially in this sort of as a business owner, pet grooming industry, like, feeling that, charging the worth and stuff like that. So that's why I wanted you to be our first sort of big guest in that on our podcast. So fantastic. It's been a great, it's been a great journey. So, Colin, let's flip, flip the, flip the tables. And I'm now the. You're going to be asking me some pointy questions.

Yeah, well, the first is an interesting one because I know that we're all students of someone else. And you've been on Alex Siri's Shift to Success program, which is about developing your entrepreneurial business. And he would consider you one of his success stories because you went from working as a police officer and, you know, a senior police officer to having a very successful business. And so it looks like a success. And all of your clients who you're teaching to make their business success, success will look to you and say, well, Bill's doing great.

Yeah, look at what he's doing. He's doing podcasts, he's doing these lives. He's, you know, he's out there and doing stuff. So how does it feel to hear that, that you're a success? And how does that compare to how you used to be feeling on the inside? Yeah.

Looking back and reflecting on everything we do, you do sometimes have to pinch yourself because you're like, it's successful, it's doing well. And I honestly believe and understand that you can be successful but have the, the imposter syndrome grinding away at you on the insides. And I quite often relate it to when I was in the police. And a bit like now, you know, I'm wearing a branded top. I've got my branding on. So this is kind of my superv suit of armor in a way. And when you put it on, you become, become that person.

And you know, it wasn't until I met Alex and again, you're a guest on, on you did a live with him and talk about, talked about imposter syndrome. It wasn't until that moment when I suddenly real. I didn't understand or know what it was and it's like, wow, this is just like incredible. This, this, this, this issue that I've been dealing with. So, you know, now when you say to me, you know, what's it feel like to be success? I'd say, well, thank you for putting that out and that.

And yeah, I agree. I've, I've been successful. You know, I am, I'm working Hard to be successful. Whereas before. So I might say, oh, well done. Or you might get a five star review or a thank you letter and you're kind of like, that's nice. But, you know, you don't really take it on board. You don't, you sort of shy away from it in a way and you sort of hide from that success. Whereas now I'm more happier to go out and, and explain and be confident about who I am and what I.

Do, which, which is a wonderful shift. I mean, it's very common with imposter syndrome. You don't, you don't own the success. You don't always feel like, oh, well, are they going to expect more of me? Or what if I screw up? Or what if they don't mean it? Or, you know, they're just being nice, you know, any ways that we can deflect the praise? Yeah, yeah. All right, great. So instead of being shy about it, now I sort of say thank you and go, yeah, thanks for that.

Thanks. Nice dice. So what, what was the, the moment you said on the podcast you, the, the live. That I did with Alex, and that was when you recognized that it, it wasn't you, it wasn't your personality. It was actually this thing. Imposter syndrome. This podcast is sponsored by Low pay. Low pay is half the price of. Sum up and zettle. So you keep more. The money that you earn. Rate starts at 0.79%. Yeah, and I can't remember. So we, I signed up with coaching or my, me and my wife signed up coaching with AL 2020.

So I think I probably listened to it whilst I was still in the police. And my, you know, I was determined to sort of leave by then and, and, but it was like a light bulb. And I, I remember going around the police, you know, the, the office where I was going. No one tells us about this. No one tells. We don't teach our police officers this. And I suddenly realized that I had been suffering, if that's the right word, or putting up with or, or suffering imposter syndrome for so much, if not all of my career.

And it had actually led to some significant decisions being made during my career. I had, did have a successful career, but it did. The imposter syndrome did hold me back, but then I was also able to achieve things that I wanted. So from the outside in, you might go, you might look at me and say, well, but you did achieve, you did become a firearms officer. You did pass the, the fitness test, and you did pass their tests. And Stu like that. So on the outside I was successful, but on the inside I was like, you know, I'm.

I'm not good enough to pass that fitness test or training days were really stressful because I was worried about losing my, my firearms permit or I'm gonna, I'm gonna mess up or I'm gonna mess up on a life on a live job sort of thing. Right. So you've got this, you know, that, that constant nagging, that your self criticism that you're not quite good enough, that people are going to find you out, that something's going to go wrong, that if you make a mistake, it's going to kind of thing.

Yeah. And you know, that anxiety. So especially around the fitness tests, I became really paranoid about the fitness tests and towards the end of the career, you know, it was really getting in the way and stopping me from progressing and passing those tests because the anxiety and the worry and, you know, I'm not good enough to pass those tests. It was like a worm and it just suddenly really ate away at me and I had to. I worked with managers about it and tried to explain it.

I thought at the time it was because I'm. I've got a thyroid condition, hypothyroidism. So I was like, I'm really tired, I can't do shifts. So they took me off night work and put me onto day shifts. And I used, I suppose I used that as a bit of an excuse around my physical training and tiredness and not being able to pass. But actually it was just that inner, that feeling of, I can't do it, I'm not good enough to pass it. Yeah. Even though, you know, the evidence was, was there that you could.

It's the internal thing. And that's the problem with imposter syndrome. Right. It's this in internal. Like the worm that you described in your head. Yeah. Really distracting. So what else did you notice in terms of imposter syndrome? What did imposter syndrome stop you doing, particularly when you were starting your business? Oh, well, if I can. If, if we can go back to the police. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it definitely, definitely, definitely. And I, and I, I couldn't put my finger on it then, but I know now imposter syndrome prevented me from going for promotion.

Definitely stopped me from going for promotion. So the promotion process within the police was you have to take exams then I didn't feel I could pass an exam. You then had to do some like, they call it acting up and pass a board now. I always said to people. I don't want promotion. I, you know, promotions for other people. I just want to be your, your cop on the street. You know, I don't, I, I don't want promotion, but deep down I wanted promotion. But the thought of doing the exams, you know, I'll never pass the exams.

You need to get 50%. Some people did it without even doing any studying. And then the thought of, you know, being an acting sergeant and leading people, it was just that completely like getting found out, you know. Yeah, but, but on the flip side of things, within my firearms career, I was given a leadership role so I could do it.

You know, I think that's really nice because even though you're avoiding the promotion, you still the opportunity to discover that it was something you absolutely could do. Yeah, I thought people could see it in me, but I couldn't see it in myself and the leadership, the leadership role within the firearms unit. You know, I was leading 12 police officers on like a night shift and there was no one else around in charge of the firearms response for the whole, for the whole county, you know. Yes. And when I look back at that, it's just an incredible achievement.

But at the time it was just like, oh, when's this gonna all collapse around me? Right, yeah, yeah, I saw that holding you back. I mean, you not going for a promotion that you are absolutely capable of, you know, acting in that capacity, it would have cost you not only the stress of worrying about promotion, but, you know, it would cost you financially as well. Right. In terms of career and everything. So you could actually add up what imposter syndrome has cost you in terms of like lost promotions and you know, and when you take that over years, then it's a, it's a significant amount indeed.

Yeah. And when it comes to business, I think like knowledge is power. And as soon as we started our coaching process with Alex, I obviously listened to your, your one to one with him, your live, your podcast with him. And so I started to understand that, that, that there is a, an explanation for how I was feeling. And obviously Alex also works with us on mindset and helps us to get over some mindset barriers. So when it comes to, to business, the imposter syndrome feelings and symptoms was probably a bit lower as I opened my business.

But it's still, you know, even to like last year, it still affects things like pricing. If I'm going to deliver a workshop or I've been or if someone, if someone asks me for a price for something, it does like kick in and go oh, what am I worth? You know, and that's, that's.

Sorry, there's avoidance in there where, you know, I have people chasing me on email going, bill, can you just tell us how much you want for this or how much you're. You're looking to charge for this? And I'm just like that. Avoidance is one of the coping strategies where I'm just like, I don't want to. I don't want to do it. Yeah, yeah. So those are so. So you're procrastinating in terms of just even sending the, Sending the emails out. And there's this feeling of uncomfortableness. Right.

In just, even just saying, okay, or even, you know, putting up your price. Right. Oh, because that's. I know for many business owners that say, you know, can be a really introspective, challenging thing to do, because am I really worth this? And what if, what if someone comes back to sit back to say, how dare you and, you know, be angry and walk away or something like that? Yeah, yeah. And so that, that strategy of avoidance, you know, I would stall on the emails. I would be like, let me just think about it.

Or, you know, and I can see it from the other person's point of view. It must be quite frustrating, like, why can't you just give me a price? But it's because I'm like, going, I don't know what to charge. And then obviously I reach out again to my mentors, and my wife is a mentor of mine. She's incredible, but sometimes a little bit too close to me. So I've got mentors again, like Robin Waite, who I push out to Price. He goes like, extreme, and I'm like, okay, I'll go in the middle.

Yeah. So. So you're already seeing the shift now in terms of how you're feeling about responding to that price question. And, you know, the, that it's. No. Are you. Is it no longer a challenge for you to send that email? Yeah, and it's been interesting because, you know, whilst doing the Inner Success program, I've had obviously the, the queries and the requests for workshops and stuff like that, and I can, I can see the progress that I'm making as, like, you said, the, the, the responses are quicker that are like, well, yep, that's my price.

And then I just don't think about it anymore or don't overthink it. Don't, don't dwell on it. It's just like, yeah, this is it sort of thing. Yeah, that's lovely. So this is one of the places that the Inner Success Program takes you. We address the root cause of imposter syndrome and then the symptoms fall away. So it gets to the point where you're forgetting to doubt yourself. And what you're describing there is you're just forgetting that even prices and issues like, oh, yeah, that's the price.

Even if you have to look it up, you know, oh, yeah, that's the price, and it's done. Whereas previously, the, the time, the energy, the distraction, the self criticism, all of that you putting into this simple question of responding to an email. So what it does is that opens up space. You actually have more time to do things, get on with things, and more easily as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, but also if, I suppose if these thoughts or feelings do come up, the program, the Inner Success Program actually gives you toolkits to then, you know, re, examine, reflect, understand, and sort of work on if, if the feelings do reappear, which they're going to, you know, they're going to come across new scenarios and, and things like that where you're gonna have to revisit the, the training.

And I was talking to Amanda, my coach, yesterday and sort of said, you know, it's. It's a lifelong. It's life learning, isn't it? It's not, oh, you do the course and you've completed it. Well done. It's life learning. It's a continual adjustment and thought process. It is. And, you know, it's a momentum program. So this is why, you know, three quarters of the way through it, we can talk about the changes and each one, and what happens is we normalize the change. Right. We kind of forget how much we're struggling in the past.

So you get to a point, say, for example, on the pricing that comes up, and then Robin comes along and says, you know, Bill, I think you should double your prices. And you're like, okay, that's a big step up. Let's. Let's get used to this. Let's challenge this in myself. Let's see if there's any belief in here that is blocking me to see, you know, who, who says, you know, what is the ultimate price and thing. So, yeah, you can absolutely use this going forward. But what you've learned already, that doesn't go away because it's made made permanent changes in you, which is you really, really good.

So it doesn't mean that this is going to have to be a slog for the rest of your life. Yeah, you continue to feel easier, calmer, and Everything. So what kind of changes have you seen then for yourself? Okay, so this takes a bit of reflection at times, but the overall sort of feeling is lighter in body, I suppose.

Happier. I think my wife Emma would say that, you know, I can be a very quiet inner. You know, I, I live in my head. I think it's probably what she'd say. I live in my head and I don't really talk. Everyone's probably going, what, you don't talk? You've listened to your podcasts. But I live in my head a lot and I, I'm more, you know, happier now to, to. To chat and to speak and to talk. And that inner voice is a lot, A lot quieter, I suppose.

The tinnitus is louder, but the, The. The inner voice is a lot. It's a lot quieter, more confident, more, I suppose, also understanding of what, how other people are feeling and more like greater emotional intelligence in that way, because it does help you to reflect on what other people are. Are pushing towards you and reacting to you as well. Yeah, yeah. Which is. All of which is fantastic. Yeah, yeah. So one of the things the program teach you to is how to deal with difficult people, not to take things personally.

So have you had experiences like that where you've shifted the way that you've dealt with somebody? Yeah, definitely. Where maybe you receive feedback and sometimes you're as, as business owners, you know, and, you know, you're a business owner yourself, it's very personal to you, isn't it? As to what, as to what you. You do and what you put out there. So when you get feedback on it, it can be like a little dagger to your heart at times as a business owner. But actually, yeah, again, if you get.

When receive feedback and stuff, and I openly go out and ask for feedback, so it's like you get what you ask for, but straight away is that instead of dwelling on stuff for maybe a week or two, it was more a case of like, okay, and it was probably a little bit of like two minutes of ego going. And then I was like, right now, actually pull that back, pull the ego in, understand where that person's coming from and see how you can adjust it and change it.

And actually it's no big deal. They just, they're just looking at the process, not looking at me, if that makes sense. It absolutely does. And there's not taking it personally can be huge because, you know, these things, if we, if you don't have a way to deal with them, you can be stressed about that for years. I Mean, you know, just in terms of like family dynamics and relationships. For example, one argument can lead to people not speaking to each other for 30 years, you know, so the ability to, you know, once you've noticed it.

Right, okay. Deal with it, feel empathy for the other person, feel compassion, realize it's not about you, realize that's the best they've got right now. They're entitled to their opinions and all of those kinds of things. These are very calm thoughts. It's a very measured, thoughtful way of approaching it. And what you've learned in the program is how to get to that calm, thoughtful equanimity I think is probably the good word for it. Feeling equal. Yeah. And it's interesting you say years, you know, going for years.

So one thing that me and Amanda worked on, on the letting go process and I don't know if you want to go through that, but that letting go process is such, well, it is a life changing process. And I think when I say I feel lighter, I think a lot of that is from that letting go process, which for listeners wondering what that is, you're basically looking at issues or things that have come up in your life that you are storing and reacting to all the time and, and understanding a way to remove that from your thoughts.

And one of mine was when I was 10, it was a particular headmaster who was quite, it was coming to retirement. So he's quite old school. We used to have a mental arithmetic test on a Friday morning. It was 10 questions in a little red book. This is how much detail I can recall from this. And I'd be really upset, probably on the way to school, really nervous because I was, I would do quite poorly at it and he'd get quite cross and quite angry. Now I can that that sort of.

You're going to tell me that I haven't let this go completely on you because you're like, you're going into too much detail here, Bill. But we, we did a, we did a letting go around this and you know, understood why he acted the way he did and stuff like that. But I could probably, I put my finger on that and say that experience as a 10 year old with that maths teacher has probably gone on to affect my maths career in a way. You know, I failed maths at gcc.

I failed it again when I retook it. I, if I was out on the streets with the police, I would be like scared of asking people their sort of dates of birth and trying to work out how old they were because I Had this belief that I couldn't do it, you know, and I've just carried that all the way through adult life. So it's really interesting how you were saying about the years and how we carry that baggage in a way, and how it affects us through those years.

And I'm sure he'd be devastated if. He is probably not with us now, but I'm sure he'd be devastated if he thought his teaching had led to that. But. But it did, and that's just the way it is. But I can now let that go and understand why and understand what. Where he came from and where he was coming from. And as Amanda says, I can give him a hug, you know.

And that, that, that really is fantastic. I mean, you're, you're explaining there something that's haunted you, literally. Yeah. Throughout your life. It would have, it would fed into your nervousness about taking the police exams, for example, because you've got that, you know, strong test experience there.

So what we do for the listeners when we, when we. The heart of eliminating imposter syndrome is to eliminate some of the triggers that cause an emotional reaction. So somebody, you know, saying to pop quiz, what's 320 times 12? You know.

Yeah, exactly. I would. No, I should write it out. But. But you know what? But it's that emotional reaction that's immediate. And the reason it is is because there' part of the brain that stores dangerous situations. And because it was an emotionally charged event, a maths challenge would have been stored as a dangerous situation by your brain. When you go back and you do the letting go and you understand his point of view, where he was coming from, and other stresses that he's got going on, and that it wasn't about you, it wasn't personal, and it wasn't a criticism of you.

And if he'd known a better, a way to help you be more comfortable with your arithmetic, he absolutely would have done it. Like you said, he would have been horrified. So when you do that, you get to this feeling of compassion. How sad this teacher with his long career didn't have a better way of teaching kids to be comfortable with maths. I mean, it's really sad. And when you do that, that changes the emotional reaction that your amygdala is saying is okay, that's not a danger, actually, that's something to be compassionate about.

And then that it drops it from the list. It removes that trigger. And you can have that trigger about speaking up, asking for help, being perfect, making mistakes, all these triggers or Somebody's criticized you or something like that. All of these triggers, different ones that people have, what we're doing in the program is we're systematically taking away these triggers. And that's why you said you feel lighter, because you're literally not as agitated by daily life and imposter syndrome as you had been in the past. So it's.

Yeah, it's an act of forgiveness in a way as well, isn't it? You're forgiving yourself when you do some letting goes around situations, but also forgiving other people when certain situations come up. And then as, as you and Amanda. Amanda's my coach on the inner Success program sort of says that, you know, to start with, these letting goes are quite long and they take some diving into and learning the coping strategies and mechanisms and. But I can see a point where we get to where you could probably do it quite, quite quickly in your head and turn that situation around quite quickly.

I can see that you can see. That developing in you because we haven't quite finished the program yet. That's exactly where it gets to. It gets to a point where you're able to do this in the moment. So for example, you're in a meeting and somebody gets angry. So people do. And rather than reacting in the moment, you start going into, gee, poor guy, what's going on for him must be really stressed to act out like that. So you not take it personally, you stay calm and then you want to help and that diffuses the whole situation.

That makes what could have been a very tense meeting into something that still remains productive and things like that. So yeah, the ability that you're developing becomes faster, faster and easier and easier. So it's not like you have to go through and clear out every single thing that's ever happened to you because the brain doesn't work like that. The brain kind of gets, oh, I know what we're doing, we're doing this. And that's really the heart of it. And that leads to this process being effortless. Right.

The self doubt being effortless. You're not having to stand up and give yourself a good talking to in the mirror. You don't have to get an elaborate morning routine, keen to prep yourself up and armor yourself. It's like you forget to doubt yourself. Yeah. And. And like a very, very recent example as I went to Northern Ireland at the weekend which involved going to Gatwick. I've never really traveled like that when I was younger. So going. I've done a few flights recently, but there was no, there's no stress with that.

There was no. I went into. Did the flights, met people that I'd never. I've only met over zoom. No, there was no, like, worry, no stress. No, you know, I. I got dropped back at the plane at the airport on the Sunday, and it was just a seamless, effortless journey, you know, and even when I got to Gatwick and I had to remember, you know, where do I need to go to catch the bus to the car park and. And stuff like that, it wasn't like, oh, my God, well, I'm gonna be here forever and be like Tom Hanks in the terminal.

It was like, no, you can. You can work this out. You can just go and, like, look for the signs. And he said, go and look at stop one. That must be stop one. And it stops you from that second guessing, that hesitation that. That, like, overthinking that, that panic in a way. That's it. It's. It takes all. All of that away. And this is because you've. You've. You've stopped those triggers. And because you. What you're developing is deep self acceptance and self trust, and that's when the imposter syndrome symptoms fall away.

Right? Because you're already in that scenario you've just described. You weren't criticizing yourself. You weren't feeling like you didn't belong. You weren't comparing yourself and feeling bad about it, and you weren't, as you say, second guessing and doubting yourself. There's a small situation. Small decisions. Yeah. Very exciting. It is exciting. So I've got a couple of questions, and I hope that for anyone who's watching and listening, that you can feel the magnitude of this shift for Bell, this trip, which could have been massively stressful. He could have come back absolutely exhausted from the multitude of little stresses that added up.

And it wasn't. It was smooth and easy, and you can see. Get on with this next day. It changes then how you say you're more relaxed. It changes how you show up in all of your relationships. So it show up in, you know, your home life as well. Your wife says that you're sharing more, you know, what's going on for you internally, and that's just going to improve your relationship as well. So that's very exciting stuff, and it's a joy. So what made you decide to say yes to start this?

Because we've talked about where you were before. We've talked about the afterwards. There was a point at which you said, okay, Tara, let's do this from 2020 to 2024.

What happened at that point to say, let's do this. Yeah, so you know, 20. I always tell people this, that 2020, that obviously I reached out to you on messenger or LinkedIn, I can't remember. And I always say like, oh, I was really worried that about you saying no to doing the, the podcast. And like I just shut my eyes and press the send button sort of thing. That's imposter syndrome, isn't it? Now I'd reach out and ask and, and ask people and talk to people, But I suppose 2020 to now is a, is a, is a, a journey of discovery.

And even my mum sort of says to me, early 2020 or 2021, she's like, I don't recognize you in a good way. I don't recognize you anymore. I was, my nickname was Eeyore in the police because it was always like, oh no, you know, government hates us, we're not going to get our pensions, you know, all that sort of stuff. So it's been a real journey of discovery. And obviously I discovered imposter syndrome and in your teachings and your books and then I did some other mindset courses as well and how powerful understanding your mindset is.

Then obviously I had you on for your second appearance when you talked about the Inner Success program. And I think it's just a case of like having enough, like, I've had enough of feeling like this and, and I was talking to Emma about it and she's like, well, if it can unlock, unlock your, you know, unlock your brain so that you can do better in business, then again, it's a no brainer, isn't it? It. So like I said, Emma's always been a fantastic mentor of mine and, and she's always come at it as like, okay, it's yes, it is an expense or actually is it an investment?

And look at it as an investment because by, by unlocking your brain and making you feeling calmer, then obviously you're going to have greater success going forwards. So that was like that. I think the key is getting to a point, it's that living in pain, isn't it? And then getting to the point where you're just like, I'm no longer going to live in this, like, situation that has to put up with it and there's ways that I can move forwards. And obviously I've invested in coaching before.

So I've invested in coaching with Alex. I've invested in coaching with Jason Grayson. I think you know him as well. And I've invested in coaching with Robin, so I'm not shy of investing in myself and my business. And it's just like, what can I learn?

How can I progress forward? Yeah, I think that's a really key thing. It feels, because it's a personal thing. Imposter syndrome is so personal. It feels like it's a. It can also sometimes even feel selfish. You know, I'm spending good money on just me feeling happier, you know, is that really enough? But you're right, it is a business investment and you reap the benefits. Even just like the smallest thing. You said feeling comfortable to just send a message to somebody to say, do you want to be a guest on my podcast?

Right. You can, you can see how the scale of things changes when you're, when you're free to just ask people, you know, if they're going to help you, if they're going to support you, if they're going to, you know, partner with you in this way. Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure Andrew's allowed us to put it through the business but you know, as a business expense, however, I actually, I see on both, I see a personal investment and a business investment and I had to obviously get them on board because we had to go into our savings to pay for it, to invest in it.

But yeah, it just changes everything. Changes everything. I love it. I love it. Well, one of the reasons that we are talking about this right now, even though you haven't quite finished the program, is that so if I explain I'm doing some research right now. I'm training other up a cohort of coaches, training them, experienced coaches how to facilitate the Inner success program.

And Bill joined us at the end of last year as one of the practice clients that I'm supervising these coaches. So here's coach fabulous lady called Amanda Cookson and she's just great. And next week I'm training up the next cohort of coaches and because we're looking to prove that this process isn't just me being a genius coach, which I never thought was true, but it's proving that and it's proving that other coaches can deliver the same massive transformation, life changing results that I've seen when working with my clients.

So we've got a few spots open for some practice clients and it is a, as a practice client it's a big discount. So it's normally a 5,000 pound investment and this is 975 pound plus VAT. So it's like, you know, what's that 80% ish. Yeah. So it's a really big discount, and for that you get the full program supervised by me. So Bill and I were talking earlier and he was saying, well, you know, I think some of my own clients would, you know, business clients would, would benefit from doing this.

And I think that's the case. Yeah, definitely, definitely. And that probably was also a deciding factor because it was like, bargain, let's jump on board, let's get this, let's get this done and let's change things. And I think the main message is how people are feeling just doesn't have to be like that. And I think as we go through life, we accept what we're given, we accept what we're told, we accept what we see on the telly and how we feel. Maybe our friends feel the same as us, but actually there's a different way and you don't, you just don't have to put up with that anymore.

Fantastic. So if you were going to give them a 1, 1, 1 sentence to say join. Yeah, join, you know, take advantage of the discount for, for sure. But, but just join to, to make those changes. And like, like I said, you just don't have to feel like that. That. Yeah, you can feel lighter. You can, you can go on a, a trip and, and, and it be smooth. Yeah, yeah. Everything I'm finding out now with having, having had coaches and mentors, you know, I'm 44 now.

The one thing that really annoys me is that I just didn't know about this stuff when I was in my 20s. You know, it's just, it's just really, really frustrating. And why don't, why don't, why don't schools and workplaces teach us about this? Talk to us about this. Why don't. When you go into the police service, why don't they have lessons around how you might feel? I just don't get it. Yeah, yeah. Well, hopefully this is what we're changing. Right? One person at a time. The more people are aware of this, the more people will say, hey, can you come?

And I have, I actually have done some talks for, for the police service, so you'll be delighted.

I bet they lose a lot of people, you know, throughout the year because of, like, imposter syndrome. But I just don't. They don't understand it and they don't realize. No. And, and, and to be fair, it's really only in the last 10 years that it's become something that people are starting to. Or I've heard that Term starting to recognize because most people, before that, most people thought. Thought, well, it must be me. Right. And the, and, and the point is, it's not you. It's absolutely not you.

And there's something you can do about it. And if there's something you can do about it, you know, best time would have been when you're in the 20s. Second best time is right now. Yeah, that's it. That's it. So I'll fit the tables again. Like, where can people find out more about the work that you do and how to join the course? Yeah. So I've got a link that hopefully that you can put in the podcast and on the Facebook Live. That'd be brilliant. That's the details of the program so you can look at exactly what's going on.

There's a link with those details that takes you to a quiz. So you take it's an imposter syndrome quiz to see if you have it or not. And if you get above a score, you're eligible to come in and be a practice client. And so you can click and sign up straight from there. So that's the fast way through. And we're going to start soon. So I would say do it now, do it as soon as you can. And otherwise. My books look for Tara Halliday on Amazon.

That's Outsmart Imposter Syndrome and the Coach's Guide to Imposter Syndrome. Most of my posts I put on LinkedIn, so it's Tara Halliday, PhD. I'm starting to put a few things on TikTok, but we'll see how that goes. Dancing on TikTok.

Do a bit of cat dancing. Yeah, yeah. And then My website is completesuccess.co.uk and so all of those ways you can hunt me down. My name is quite unusual, so just type my name, Tara Halliday in Google and a whole bunch of things will come up then, too. Yeah, I mean, I've. I've got a. You know, it's like fate, isn't it, where we. We've our. Our paths merged at some point. And I've got to say thank you for, you know, for helping me to change. So thanks a lot for that.

My. It's an absolute pleasure, Bill. This is why I do what I do for. For people to be lighter, happier and more successful in their own lives and feel better about it. And. And I've also say, I've got to say that haven't quite finished the program, so there's some good stuff still coming. You'll enjoy that, too. That's it. I've just. So I've just finished week seven with Amanda, and we're currently looking at values, and I find that really, really interesting. And then obviously, we've got to finish off week eight.

You're almost there. Home straight. Well, I wish you all the best with that. Thank you. Thank you so much again. And I hope that your Facebook group will give you lots of love and appreciation for being willing and open to talk about this and talk about your journey and the struggles and the transformation that you're seeing as well. Well, because it's inspirational, and I think if we don't. If we don't highlight it, people will just carry on in life thinking, this is. This is normal. This is it.

Yeah. Yeah. And that. And that really is the sad part of things, because, like you said, you don't have to put up with it. And if you don't have to put up with it, why would you? Yeah. Excellent. Well, I hope everyone has enjoyed this and, you know, reach out if you want to know a bit more as to what I've done with the course and obviously go and check out the link and. And check out Tara's books. But for now, thank you very much. Thank you so much.

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